Taming Anger Part 2
Author: Pastor Thomas G. Wilson
April 12, 2020
Ephesians 4:26-27,29-32 KJV [26] Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: [27] Neither give place to the devil. [29] Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. [30] And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. [31] Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: [32] And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
There are 3 levels of anger:
- Anger – A violent passion of the mind excited by a real or supposed injury; usually accompanied with a propensity to take vengeance, or to obtain satisfaction from the offending party. This passion varies in degrees.
- Bitterness – Bitterness is an emotion which encompasses anger and hatred.Bitterness is aged anger.This is unresolved anger which continues to dominate the thought life and develops into extreme hostility.
- Wrath – Bitterness in action. Violent words or violent acts.
Paul admonishes the Ephesian church to never go to bed angry. Anger is toxic. It builds up in intensity for future ventilation when unresolved. Going to bed angry opens the door to the devil. Remember God created us with the emotion of anger. It is not a sin to be angry however it must always be resolved in a godly manner. When you remain angry you give the devil a place of operation in your emotional life. Satan is a deceiver, he will tell you that threats, hatefulness and revenge is the only solution. The devil will also try to convince you that what God says simply is not true so you better take matters into your own hands. He is out to destroy you and will use your own anger to do so if you don’t stop him and expel him immediately.
The first step to “Taming Anger” is to control your temper. It can be done. The word of God says be angry but do not sin or rather do not allow the intense emotions to control what you say and do. God would not require you do to something that you were not able to do. Even in the face of unfairness and injustice emotions must be controlled. Strong emotions can cloud your judgment, thereby the opportunity for resolution is replaced with perpetual misunderstanding. Secondly, express anger in a positive manner. Avoid being critical or judgmental. Use “I feel statements rather than “you always…” Ex. “You don’t know how to handle money.” Rather “I feel frustrated by our financial situation. Let’s talk about it.” You want to create an atmosphere of honesty, however, when judgments, accusations and criticism are the tone…defensiveness and contempt is the result. We all have to recognize that no one is perfect, therefore we should not be threatened to discuss a possible area of weakness. Thirdly, don’t forget to pray! Actually this step needs to be included in the other two as well. Resolving conflict should always be bathed in prayer. It is amazing how seemingly irreconcilable differences are cut down to size when put before the Lord in prayer. God has a way of bringing a balanced perspective in situations where parties are locked in on establishing blame and perpetuating guilt. When it comes to blame stand ready to point the finger at you first… someone has to be the initiator of peace in conflict resolution.
For further reading: Prov.25:28 Passion Translation; Mat.5:22-26
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